Colorful Grey

Apparently, it's not easy to face a "blow up" condition. When the inside is opposite with the outside. When it's not well-becoming. When what you want is obviously out of your thought!

I fan him. I know it. I know what I feel. I do understand. I really understand about it.

Everybody thought we're more than just a friend. So do his friends.
But in fact, we still be friend as well...
They ask me like we often to meet up. we often keep in touch. we....got in a specific relation.
We're close friend, yeah I know. I worked out. That's what I wanted.
But...we're still just friend.
This is what I made. This condition is happened 'cause I'm the one who run it out.
And apparently it's hard to face. When the truth is out of our face.

What should I do now?
Tell them that it's not like what they thought? That we're just friend as well?
But...how about him?
He knows nothing. All he knows is we're just a friend and nothing is happening.
But...I'm affraid...
It's like reveal to the world that I love One Direction.
Maybe you think it's just like "Hey, I'm a directioner, and I'm proud of it."
But what should you do when you already have an "image"?
I'm afraid to lose it. I'm afraid if ... that... what if it's gonna be worse?
What if what's next makes me down or something worse?
I'm affraid to reveal it.
I just tell some specific friends, who I thought can understand it.

To be honest, I'm affraid.
I'm affraid to reveal the fact, in between many rumors that already grown up.
There's a grey between colors... and that's the truth.

Entahlah...
Aku hanya sedang menyederhanakan rasa.
Dan menjaga rasa, yang sepatutnya kutitipkan dan pasrahkan pada Sang Maha Pembolak-balik Hati.

Smile up, Dit! :)

Regards,
Ismidita :)

Different Between

This evening, my friend asked me a thing, that made me a little bit mad...

"Why is your Instagram Gallery full of the pics of this guy?"

Idk but I think that my reaction to his question is too much. Idk why did I mad?

After asking that question, I was defending myself with tell him that it's not only the picture of that guy. I posted many pictures of my friends. Not only that guy. We proof together, we counted up the pictures in my gallery, how many pictures of him in it? He found 12, I found 11.
And I tell him again that there are many friends in my gallery. Why? Because those are my OWN pictures.

Then I asked him back, what's the different between 'HITS' and 'NARSIS'?

Why does the 'hits' account in instagram always repost the picture of the owner itself? That's not their own pictures tho, except the selfie picture.

Now the selfie, is it narsis or hits?

ohhh whatever. It maked me so mad.

I'd like to share my own pictures. The pictures that taken by me. by myself.
Though there are pictures of me inside, I credit the one who took it.
Look at those real photographer, in their gallery, not even one about their self picture except it was taken by their friend and thay make the credit on the caption.

Ugh! whatever.
It's not so important but, , , it my life, tho...

I wanna do my passion.
Live my life.
Make my dreams come true...

well, I hope we could find our own passion in the perfect time and we could find the ways to make it comes true.

Regards,
Ismidita :)

What A Girl Wants. What A Girl Gets.

It's pretty nice. I like this movie.
It shows you about "when you want something but you've got what you need."

The emotion..
ugh... reminds me of him.
How's he doing? I know there's someone else. Sometimes it gets hurt, actually. But what could I do with the past?
I'm just always trying to be better and better. To learn about what I got about this whole life. What I got from him.
Noo.. No. Don't say that I'm not moving on. No... I've moved on.
But how could you forget your first time???
I know it was too late to realize. I know that was so fool. But I learned many things of it.

It hurts when I know that he've got someone, and I...I'm just...being me.
She's nice. She's beautiful. She's clever. She's....a happy girl.
They take care each other. Support each other.

It hurts.
Remembering your past. It hurts.
And I...I miss him.

Just be the best of yourself. And you'll get what you deserve.

Regards,
Dita Nur Ismi. A Storm from the past.

See you :)