Colorful Grey

Apparently, it's not easy to face a "blow up" condition. When the inside is opposite with the outside. When it's not well-becoming. When what you want is obviously out of your thought!

I fan him. I know it. I know what I feel. I do understand. I really understand about it.

Everybody thought we're more than just a friend. So do his friends.
But in fact, we still be friend as well...
They ask me like we often to meet up. we often keep in touch. we....got in a specific relation.
We're close friend, yeah I know. I worked out. That's what I wanted.
But...we're still just friend.
This is what I made. This condition is happened 'cause I'm the one who run it out.
And apparently it's hard to face. When the truth is out of our face.

What should I do now?
Tell them that it's not like what they thought? That we're just friend as well?
But...how about him?
He knows nothing. All he knows is we're just a friend and nothing is happening.
But...I'm affraid...
It's like reveal to the world that I love One Direction.
Maybe you think it's just like "Hey, I'm a directioner, and I'm proud of it."
But what should you do when you already have an "image"?
I'm afraid to lose it. I'm afraid if ... that... what if it's gonna be worse?
What if what's next makes me down or something worse?
I'm affraid to reveal it.
I just tell some specific friends, who I thought can understand it.

To be honest, I'm affraid.
I'm affraid to reveal the fact, in between many rumors that already grown up.
There's a grey between colors... and that's the truth.

Entahlah...
Aku hanya sedang menyederhanakan rasa.
Dan menjaga rasa, yang sepatutnya kutitipkan dan pasrahkan pada Sang Maha Pembolak-balik Hati.

Smile up, Dit! :)

Regards,
Ismidita :)